Menu — The Chapped Ass Cantina, fictional Geronimo, Texas
The Chapped Ass Cantina • Geronimo, Texas • Ramiro Gutierrez, Head Cook
Where the Heat Hits Twice
Cooking is combat with flavor.
Order accordingly.
Food
What We Serve
Donkey Balls
Meatballs that surround a jalapeño popper stuffed with queso, chorizo, and local shame.
Road Rash Tacos
Street tacos so spicy they hurt going in, out, and emotionally.
Bootlace Enchiladas
Tied in a knot. Served with a knife and a challenge.
Lube Job Nachos
Layered so deep they need a pit crew.
Burning Shame
Flaming queso. It’s in the name.
Signature — Order With Full Knowledge
The Greasefire Combo
Ramiro’s definitive statement. Not a meal. A position.
- Sizzling street tacos
- Grilled jalapeños stuffed with what Ramiro calls “courage”
- A tortilla branded with the Chapped Ass logo
- A shot of tequila that tastes suspiciously like motor oil and sorrow
Drinks
Liquid Offerings
The Chapped Ass Margarita
Tequila, lime, and crushed regret.
Cactus Juice Flight
Four pours. One of them is actually just diesel. The game is figuring out which.